Now Showing on Cable: “The Smurfs”

Making its debut this weekend on Starz was last year’s CGI/Live action kid’s movie, “The Smurfs”.
Based on the 1980s cartoon (which in turn was based on a Belgian comic strip), “The Smurfs” takes a small handful of the creatures and has them magically teleported to our world. As they struggle to find a way to get back to their village, they’re pursued by the fiendish magician Gargamel and his cat Azreal, and struggle to find their way in this strange new, decidedly un-Smurfly environment.
The question becomes, is “The Smurfs” Smurftastic? Or un-Smurfing-necessary?

When Clumsy Smurf wanders too far from the Smurf village and is spotted by Gargamel, the location of the Smurf’s hidden haven is revealed. The Smurfs are put on the run as Gargamel and Azreal trample their huts and chase them through the woods, trying to capture Smurfs in order to distill their magical blue essence out of them. During the escape a handful of them, led by Poppa Smurf, are sucked through a vortex that dumps them into New York’s Central Park.
Poppa, Clumsy, Grouchy, Brainy, Gutsy, and Smurfette are decidedly lost in a strange new world, but quickly manage to find their way to the home of human characters, played by Neil Patrick Harris and Jayma Mays. The couple is expecting a child, and Harris has just received a promotion working for demanding taskmaster Sofía Vergara. You would think that having diminutive blue critters in your midst would complicate things, but Patrick and Mays take to them rapidly, the biggest issues being the fact that the Smurfs always use the word Smurf and they always sing the annoying Smurf theme song.
In fact, everything about this movie is way too simple, and I say that in full recognition of the fact that it’s a children’s movie. The plot boils down to the Smurfs need to get home before Gargamel gets them. All the characters are flat and nondescript. Patrick, Mays and Vergara flatline their way through this, and I didn’t find any of the voice acting for the Smurfs that memorable. Well… aside from Jonathan Winters, who does a great job of sounding really, really old.
The humor here is utterly bland. None of the smurfs are funny as characters, and they’re all intentionally annoying so that the movie can joke about how annoying they are. Which winds up being annoying. There’s lots of silly slaptstick as Clumsy can’t keep his balance, or the Smurfs almost get run over or trampled by things, and of course there’s the comedy of Gargamel’s abject failures.
The action sequences are utterly forgettable. And the live action/CGI mix served to highlight the shortcomings of the Smurfs for me. I realize they’re cartoon characters and it’s a kids movie, so perhaps I shouldn’t hold them to as high a standard, but I never once forgot that I was watching actors interacting with animation. Or thought that Azreal was believable as an almost talking cat. Maybe its something that shouldnt be expected, but I guess we’ve come a long way since “Roger Rabbit”, and now I’ve grown accustomed to a more seamless blend of reality and animation, even in our kids movies.
The most notable thing about this movie is the performance of Hank Azaria. Azaria underwent hours of daily make-up work in order to physically resemble Gargamel, including a prosthetic nose and ears, buck teeth, huge fake eyebrows and a wig. He does a spot on impersonation of the cartoon character, but, unfortunately, that’s probably better suited for small doses. Even though he provided the majority of the films sparse amusements for me, by the end I was finding him just as tiresome as the Smurfs themselves.
Just an unmemorable film that really would only have appeal for small children who haven’t developed “taste” in movies yet.

Now Showing on Cable: “Fast Five”

HBO’s big new premiere this weekend was 2011′s “Fast Five”, the fifth installment in “The Fast and the Furious” franchise.
“Fast Five” returns all the major players – Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, Jordana Brewster – plus returns several familiar faces from prior chapters such as Tyrese Gibson, Gal Gadot, Sung Kang, and Ludacris. This time, though, they up the ante by adding Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to the mix.
But even though they assembled a “Fast and Furious” dream team, can they recapture the high-octane magic of previous outings?

“Fast Five” puts Paul Walker’s Brian O’Conner and Vin Diesel’s Dominic Toretto on the run again, this time down in Rio de Janeiro. After busting Dom out of a prison transport bus, O’Conner, Mia and Dom find themselves south of the border. When a car heist (from a speeding train ) goes sour, the two leads are forced to determine why. What they learn is that the car theft was actually a mission to recover the financial data of a crime cartel, contained in a computer in one of the cars.
They have no time to act on the realization prior to the arrival of The Rock’s Agent Hobbs and his team of bodybuilders special agents. Hobbs is a brutish, urban-tank driving special agent and leader of an elite task force. Once his team is called in to investigate the train robbery, he latches on to O’Conner and Dom and begins to track them with a relentless zeal. He’s “Old Testament. Blood, bullets, wrath of God, that’s his style.”
Even though O’Conner, Dom and Mia have Hobbs and his team on their trail, they also have the cartel data detailing the location of millions of dollars. They put a plan in motion to heist every dollar that’s listed. First they put out the call to all the past team members they can. Once the crew is assembled, they brazenly hit one location, which tricks the cartel into consolidating all their cash into a single, heavily secured location. The fact that it happens to be a police station doesn’t slow the “Furious” gang down at all.
The heist is on.
“Fast Five” continues the franchise’s proud tradition of ludicrous high-speed chases, ridiculous action sequences, and deliciously bad acting. In addition to the typical dosage of souped up speeding, they amp up the shootout quotient by 200%. To its credit, the movie features slick camera work, great pacing, and a propulsive soundtrack. But most of all, it’s cheesey fun, and they know exactly how to serve up what the fans want. Adding the Rock to this franchise was an inspired touch of brilliance, and the fist-fight between him and Vin Diesel is easily one of the best movie fights ever.
When it was released last year, “Fast Five” broke the box office record for the highest-grossing April opening weekend, and surpassed “Fast & Furious” to become the highest-grossing film in the franchise. It’s grossed over $625 million worldwide. To the shock of no one, a sequel has already been announced.
That’s fine with me. I’m in.

Now Showing on Cable: “Midnight in Paris”

Woody Allen’s “Midnight in Paris” made its debut on Starz this past weekend.
Last year’s Academy Award winner for Best Original Screenplay, “Midnight in Paris” stars Owen Wilson as Gil Pender, a man who idealizes the Paris of the 1920s. Disenchanted with his career as a Hollywood hack, disrespected by his fiancée and lightly regarded by his future in-laws, Gil wishes he had lived amongst the great literary, artistic and culturally important figures of that time.
Little does he know… something extraordinary is in store for him.

While vacationing in France with his fiancée (Rachel McAdams), Gil Pender finds himself tiring of her tourist agenda and her know-it-all friends. He longs to stroll the Parisian streets and admire the city. She prefers to hit tourist sites and clubs. Her parents don’t seem to connect with him well, either, and her friends are borderline obnoxious.
He longs to admire the beauty of the city, and spend his time longingly envisioning the bygone era of the 1920s. Unfortunately, he can’t get any of the people close to him interested.
So, Gil wanders the city at night, alone.
And at the stroke of midnight, something magical happens. While resting for a moment on some steps, an antique automobile pulls up and the passengers offer him a lift. Intrigued, Gil accepts… and finds himself transported back in time. It’s a conceit that would derail a lesser movie. If not pulled off with such a deft hand, ”time travel” in a non sci-fi context could easily lose the viewer. Allen, however, plays everything perfectly and creates a fanciful, humorous atmosphere.
While back in the Paris of the ’20s, Gil rubs elbows with some of the most famous figures in literature and art. All of the luminaries of the “Lost Generation”, plus a few others to boot. Gertrude Stein, Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald and his wife Zelda, Salvador Dalí, Matisse, Gauguin, Picasso. Others as well. Gil meets up with a virtual parade of historical figures, each funnier than the next, all idiosyncratic and unique. The actors and actresses given the roles of the 1920s luminaries are all exceptional. Kathy Bates makes a tough den mother out of Gertrude Stein. Corey Stoll is hilarious as the over-tough Hemingway, and Alison Pill is great as the manic Zelda Fitzgerald. Gil’s love interests are also enchanting – especially Marion Cotillard.
But it’s Gil’s earnestness and enthusiasm that sell the story here. Owen Wilson is fantastic, and a perfect mouthpiece for Woody Allen. He’s sincere as a boy scout and drinks in the wonder and awe of what’s happening as if he were at a magic show. He feels completely natural speaking Allen’s dialogue… they’re an exceptional pairing.
Of course, Gil is a man who doesn’t belong in the 20s. So he has choices to make. About his career, about his relationship with his fiancée, about whether or not he wishes to continue to live in two worlds… Which could make for a heavy film, but not here. From the music, to the characters, to the setting, to the romance – “Midnight in Paris” is a lighthearted, whimsical, fun film that is sure to entertain. It’s enchanting. It’s never melancholy, even though it could have been. It’s just sweet and easy-going. I found it totally enjoyable.
In addition to Best Screenplay, “Midnight in Paris” was also nominated for three other Academy Awards – Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Art Direction. It’s gotten tremendous critical acclaim, and virtually everything I’ve read is supportive of it. It’s highly recommended if you havent seen it. And if you have seen it, you probably don’t need me to convince you to see it again!